Ambition Got Your Candle Burning Out At Both Ends?

I get it. There was a time when the old extremist in me used to drive ahead with fierce ambition, believing that fiery determination is what would win the race. It didn't. Fear was in the driver's seat, it was always the undercurrent of my ambition.

Letting fear lead the way never gets you far. My fear wanted me to prove myself, gain recognition, be somebody, feel like I was enough, not fail. Ironically, what I thought I was running from...failure, is what following fear lead straight into. Burn out, exhaustion, stress, depression and a feeling of defeat and utter failure.

For a while after that I went inward, reflecting on who I really was, and what I really wanted. I stopped giving a hoot about what anyone else thought of me. I still don't. I changed and learnt that small consistent steady steps toward my goals, with plenty of rest, reflection, deep breaths, authenticity, trust in my intuition and heart, combined with allowing some physical, mental and emotional quietude and space... and a quiet allowing of the unfolding of things, is what got me me ahead. I aligned.

I learnt that alignment with who I really was allowed my creativity reveal itself, slowly unfolding bit by bit, without force or will. All the while, the inspiration from my spirit was what started to lead the way. I chose to listen. It hurt too much not to.

I am not afraid to speak of my failures. Humility let me see that they are a gift. Not everyone can see that though, not while they are looking at life through the eyes of fear.

It can be hard to avoid it, the force of will and the feeling of competition. The world conditions us to drive forward, compete, be better, force it, raise the bar, push the limit, to will things into being with determination. There is a time and place for all of that, yes I know, but again, as long as that determination is not driven by a feeling of fear or lack.

Aligning with your true creativity, and I mean the kind that you create your life with, not the kind you paint and draw with, teaches you that you can be guided slowly by the quiet whispers of the soul. That is what is truly satisfying. If only you slow down long enough to listen, trust and let it emerge. It is always there, you just have to feel for it. You cannot do that while you are always in your head, listening to your ego.

Yoga can help, meditation can help, being in nature can help. Closing your eyes, slowing down, and breathing in deeply can help. Connecting body to mind can help. Listening to your feelings can help. They are your guidance. We tend to ignore them, as if they are illogical, childish and irrelevant. You just have to SLOW DOWN, and feel what's going on inside of you, body and mind. Step out of the rat race for a minute, or maybe two. What the heck, maybe a few days....or maybe forever, like I have..

So now what? What about you? Can you slow down and give yourself the space to listen in and feel what is true within you? Or is your fear driven ambition still driving you with a fire that has you burning your candle out at both ends? Do you even believe you can become something different, just by changing the pace of your life? You have a choice. Always. What you believe in essentially is your choice, and how you direct your choices is the starting point of you narnessing your creative potential. Think about that.

Until next time....

Be realistic, daydream often...

Ashleigh XO